This is a touchy subject for two reasons. One, all relationships operate on their own unique dynamic that's impossible to replicate from couple to couple. Two, talk of addiction of any kind may rub readers the wrong way. It may bring up unexpected feelings as well as introspective thoughts. Technically speaking, you can be addicted to anything and everything, from chocolate to TV to marijuana.
While there is no concrete definition for what a marijuana addict looks or acts like, this blog is dedicated to the people who've noticed a negative shift in their partner thanks to marijuana. If you feel that your partner isn't the same as they used to be, and you don't understand their change in personality or behaviour, marijuana could be to blame. Such a shift in a relationship can trigger
- anxiety
- unhappiness
- despair
- mental & physical stress
Common Signs Of Addiction
Even though signs of addiction vary from person to person, experts say there are some noticeable habits that raise a red flag. It doesn't matter if someone's addicted to marijuana, alcohol, or other drugs…the signs often look the same. For example, if your spouse suddenly spends a significant amount of time away from home or prefers to do things alone out of the blue. Other signs of addiction include
- Prioritising marijuana above daily responsibilities
- Seeing money disappear without explanation
- Putting other's lives at risk while under the influence
- Struggling to succeed at work/losing their job
- Feeling disconnected from loved ones
Help Yourself Before You Help Them
Before we get into the dos and don'ts of helping someone who's addicted to marijuana, there is one mentality that we encourage you to follow: focus on your own thoughts and feelings before you attempt to change theirs.
Realise that you cannot control your partner's actions. Realise that you may feel neglected or unhappy. Realise that you may carry the full weight of the relationship on your shoulders while they're passed out. The more you focus on "you," the less attacked your partner will feel when you broach the subject with them.
Dos And Don'ts Of Helping Your Partner
Do
- Get help for yourself through therapy, marriage counselling, or a community support group. Start by attending these sessions by yourself to vent as much as you need to before bringing in your partner.
- Practise more independence in the relationship. It's a delicate balance, but find a way to remove yourself from the situation so as not to enable their usage while still loving them from afar.
- Educate yourself on addiction. The more you learn, the more you realise that the problem is not the person—it's their mental state. Addiction often stems from mental health issues that need to be addressed and talked about in the open.
- Be clear with your thoughts and feelings. As much as it may hurt to hear, your partner needs to know what you're thinking in order to take the first steps to change for the better and help the relationship.
- Steer clear of false ultimatums or empty threats. If you really feel like you've reached your breaking point, address it, and follow through with it.
Don't
- Cover up for your spouse or make excuses for them. This sort of behaviour often enables them to continue their usual behaviour without any consequences.
- Ignore the problem. No matter the issue in your relationship, the last thing you want to do is brush it under the rug or pretend it doesn't exist. This only makes the issue last longer and become more pronounced as time goes on.
- Alter your thoughts or feelings for the sake of sparing their emotions. It's called tough love for a reason. Sometimes, the truth must come out in order to reach a positive breakthrough.
- Enable their behaviour by smoking with them. If you think their habit or addiction is out of control, set a positive example in the household by remaining sober and declining to smoke with them.
- Judge, blame, ridicule, or degrade them because of substance abuse. As mentioned before, the problem is not the person but more so their mental state.